ecad | .OPEN POST.

( from here. )

( eesh ... but if he was soft about it we might think there was something wrong with him. he's used to his brashness. )

i'm just saying it sounds like false advertising

just about everything i do you think is stupid
some way or another
i just think it's a matter of opinion

( and of course he's being very himself about it. )

what if i banked for later
when i do something that might not be all AROUND stupid, but you think it is?

[ this is about as close to soft as he's gonna get. aggressive concern, and the worst communication skills known to man. so yeah there is something wrong with him but it's normal. ]

what, do i need to run it by a board of fuckin experts to figure out if it's stupid when you do something that'll get you killed?
christ blondie you really piss me off.

[ if vash could be a little less himself, maybe wolfwood would be a little less like this. ]

what are you trying to do.
and am i gonna need a drink before even reading what it is.

( that is, again, the sort of gruffness he's gotten himself used to -- and what did he say in the beginning? those are the eyes of a good guy. his concern isn't misplaced, but if you ask around, someone might say his bedside manner needs a little bit of an adjustment.

he's so used to pissing him off by now that he doesn't even flinch, so, progress?? progress! in fact ... he might even smile a little bit. because that's just thee way vash does things. )

if it makes you feel better, i don't really think this is going to be enough to kill me
unless i mess up REALLY BAD

( it's really just. stupid. like young human boy level stupid. he almost doesn't want to say it now, but he's gone and gotten himself in this hole, he might as well either dig it deeper or find a way to get out of it. )

do you think you could teach a thomas to race?
like if i dangled a doughnut on a string in front of it?

( how mad you gonna be, woowoo. )

[ he could be mad. he's gotten mad over less.

but-- when he reads, rereads the texts, there's something he could only describe as relief that pours over him. to wolfwood, doing something stupid means vash is going to get a handful of holes shot in him, or get himself killed, or get all of them killed. this? vash actually doing something that's stupid in the way that makes old folks shake their head and boys will be boys...? this is different.

(and, all things considered, wolfwood is probably like nineteen so. maybe there's room for frat boy antics in him, too.) ]

what the fuck are you gonna race it against?

[ because THAT'S the priority here. ]

i swear, you don't think about a goddamn thing before opening your mouth, do ya. what if they don't like donuts? i've only seen 'em eat seed.

( generally, that would be the case; someone needs help, someone needs saving or something along those lines, and if you've known him for, oh, five seconds? you'd know he'd be more than willing to stick his neck out for no reason other than he can and he will, but at least. this isn't one of those how huge of an idiot can you be instances.

so you don't need to yell, right?

right?

( come on, nico, thoma race with him! ) )

i don't know?
it's just
hypothetical at this point
but we don't know if they like anything other than seed
only one way to find out!!!

[ he always needs to yell but that's like. genetic predisposition or something. ]

take a second to plan shit for once.

[ wolfwood still hasn't accepted that he's the one who's gonna have to plan everything, forever, since vash seems to have a criminal lack of foresight.

(he'll probably do it, if vash keeps calling him nico.) ]

if you're gonna waste your one free fuck up card, it's gotta be a little less than hypothetical
if you get the donuts i'll get the birds
they'll race each other

( no one is about to argue that. or try to take it away from you.

it might just help your case that this one generally needs to be yelled at at least once every few hours. give or take. )

but that takes time ...

( can you hear the little pout? because you should.

but hold on just a dang minute! )

wait
really??
i've already got the donuts i just didn't
think
you'd wanna come along
you're awesome, nico
have i told you that lately?

( he's gonna keep calling him that, probably for the rest of forever, so. good thing you don't hate it. )

[ scientific study about the growth of plants when yelled at versus when spoken to gently.... ]

well
you've got bricks in that head of yours
have i told you that?

[ the most avoidant answer of all time. because he doesn't know how to accept anything even remotely approaching affection, doesn't know how to reconcile that with the way he feels when vash calls him nico. it's been years since anyone has. ]

meet me outside of town in twenty minutes.
and we're betting
so bring whatever you ain't afraid to lose.

[ and sure enough, wolfwood makes good on the promise. twenty minutes later, he's wrangled two thoma into the desert, and looks about as composed as you'd expect someone to be after leading around birds that are bigger than him. the punisher is planted into the sand nearby. in case this goes south? ]

( the only ones to have ever spoken to him gently were rem and luida ... and okay, yeah, he flourished, but he's grown enough in the last century and a half that he could do with a bit of yelling.

he chuckles to himself. )

a few times, maybe
i might have lost count by now

( he's being cheeky and he knows it, but he also knows that nick isn't the greatest with accepting anything remotely close to affection, especially when it comes with the nickname he's chosen to go along with it. it just. fits him, somehow. nico.

he's not sure about what he's going to bet, because he's not a betting man and would honestly be unafraid to lose anything he owned, so he'll figure that out in a little bit. just let him come in closer and take in the sight of a disheveled wolfwood with all of the fondness he allows for him, and him only.

he reaches out to stroke over the neck of one of the birds, if it lets him. )

They give you some trouble?

( CHEEKY. LITTLE. BASTARD. )

[ and of course, the bird is all too happy to let vash pet it, leaning into his hand as he strokes along its neck.

this motherfucker. he doesn't have to rub it in. ]

No. They're perfect angels.

[ as if aware of the concept of comedic timing, the one vash isn't petting moves in to jab its beak at wolfwood, yank his suit jacket until he's stumbling over the sand. they may be feathered, but these are no angels-- they're hellbeasts sent to victimize him personally.

surely this bodes well for their plans for the day.

wolfwood wrests his jacket free and snaps his head to look at vash, like he's checking to see if he saw. as if there's anything else to look at out here. ]

I don't wanna hear a single word about it. Did you bring the donuts?

( vash is just … kind to everything and everyone he meets, even if he's given a reason not to be, and nick … on the opposite end of the spectrum has more of a tendency to come off rough, gruff, but blondie here would say that's just part of his charm.

wouldn't be him without it, you know? so he'll save him the indignity of acknowledging the molestation by the bird — easy enough to keep his attention on the one actually behaving — but he does turn his head in a way that is clearly trying to keep a smile hidden, and if nick is listening very closely … he might hear a bit of a giggle.

a chuckle, really. harmless. ) Hear a word about what? I didn't see anything. ( mister the stampede you are going to get yourself slapped in about two seconds and it isn't going to be by an extremity belonging to your feathered friends here. )

Oh— yeah, whole bag of 'em! ( the hand not resting against the bird's flank holds up a bag that … frankly looks too heavy to be holding just enough for the day's endeavors, but can you blame him? y'all can have some, too! ) Pretty sure I've got some string in here somewhere … ( idly patting down his coat pockets? check. it really is in there somewhere, he just has to find it. )

Now all we need are sticks …

[ a chuckle. yeah, laugh it up, vash. next time he does something equally stupid, wolfwood is gonna be in stitches about it. so much so he won't be able to lift a finger to help.

or, y'know, vash is just going to get himself slapped telenovela-style.

the bag of donuts is definitely bigger than necessary, unless they're trying to fatten the thoma up for dinner, but that's to be expected from vash. he's probably had a few donuts already. maybe this whole thing was a thinly-veiled scheme for donuts. if so, wolfwood is going to take advantage of it and cop some. ]

If ya ain't got string, we're usin' your shoelaces. [ he snorts, has a stupid grin on his face which-- immediately dissipates when vash mentions the sticks. wolfwood blinks, and again, and then buries his face into his hand with a growl. ]

Really, Spikey? Y'couldn't've mentioned that before we walked our asses all the way out there? Y'know, when you said to bring the birds??

[ he sighs, long and aggrieved, like it's really the end of the world if their goonery is delayed. wolfwood casts a look around, searching-- pauses at the sight of a plant station about half an ile out. ]

Maybe there'll be something we can use there...

( okay so he does equally stupid things like. every day? so you probably won't have to wait too long to get your revenge. heck, give it a couple of hours, and you might be laughing yourself stupid.

( also wow, don't slap the sunflower? even if it's telenovela-style? gasp, or even worse — please do not bring out la chancla!! )

so sue him for bringing more of these delicious, deep-fried delicacies, but in his opinion, one can never have too many doughnuts?? and what if they get hungry while they're on their racing adventure, or the birds decide they take a liking to them and want more themselves, or … worse comes to worst, what if they somehow end up stranded and this is the only food they have?

he's just covering all of your bases, nico. you might be thanking him later instead of internally chastising him for his proclivity for this particular pastry.

( are you tired of the alliteration yet? )

finally, though, he pulls a decently long length of string from one of his inner pockets and holds it up triumphantly, an equally goofy grin spreading across the line of his mouth like oil over water. ) Told you I had some! You leave my laces alone. ( honestly, as long as you don't string him up by them, he'll be okay. but. never hurts to be more safe than sorry.

at all of nick's long-suffering grievance, vash just. looks at him as though he's never been more fond of a human being in his entire life — you know that look — and follows his gaze toward the plant station, which isn't all that far off. the bird beside him finally notices the bag of doughnuts and decides to inspect it, and he gives a little squawk, a hey, get outta there! and a nudge to a feathered flank that doesn't actually do much good to deter the menace from stealing a doughnut. )

There's gotta be something we can use. And look … I can't remember everything. You just had to get the birds, I got everything else!

( don't pout, sunflower. it might be a cute look on you but it's surely not gonna win you any points out here. )

.OPEN POST.

@clericus;

ty for overflowing!

i really wanted it to continue so ty for coming along!

ofc! let's hope.... ww doesn't make you regret that kdjnskhn

if woowoo isn't yelling at him for being stupid something is wrong, i think we're good

'woowoo' is stuck in my head now...

you're welcome i am here to serve c:

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