how much do you know about plant cycles ( closed );

[ecad]

( if you happen to have noticed anything off about him recently, no, you most certainly have not.

he's never claimed to understand much about plant cycles, just that they always seem to come about at the most inconvenient of times, and have gotten increasingly more uncomfortable over the last few years. decade, maybe, but he hasn't been paying that close attention, because at the end of it all it's just one giant inconvenience and he would really rather not have to deal with them in the first place.

but he can always tell when it's coming, because it isn't exactly subtle and generally doesn't leave him with a whole lot of wiggle room to prepare; it begins with an altogether restlessness that overshadows his general skittishness, something that could easily be overlooked or blamed on something else. an itch beneath the surface of his skin that he can never manage to scratch well enough, figuratively speaking, and that's before the low-grade fever sets in. chills and all! because it can't just be a tip of his temperature in the wrong direction, no, because nothing has ever and will never be easy for him, if his track record in all things life are anything to go by. flushed cheeks and the tips of his ears and chills that are more annoying than anything else, but at least that's less embarrassing than the nesting instinct.

which … unfortunately for him is where he's at right now, because he can never have anything nice, but at least … they'd been able to stop at an actual inn, able to afford that sort of thing for a night or two, and if he's lucky? ha?? this whole nonsense will be over before they have to pick up and carry on again.

the only problem with that is that he isn't the only occupant of the room he's currently holed up in. wolfwood had only gone out in search of a new pack of smokes, he'll probably be back any freaking minute, and what is he going to find when he crosses that threshold again? one ( 1 ) humanoid typhoon curled up in the middle of the singular bed, buried beneath what linens he could find — of which there weren't many, because there never are — shivering and hugging his knees and praying to whatever god that is still around to listen that he could just get it over with already.

how many are there going to be this time, hm? )

Comments

[louboutinjudas]

[ It's stupid for Blondie to trust him with this, and after they're done here he'll say so, loudly, repeatedly, and probably violently. He should have kicked Wolfwood out the door the second he'd walked in. He should have lied, claimed indigestion, pretended to have company over, anything to stop a vulnerability like this from being shared with somebody like Nicholas the Punisher. This is a mistake that Spikey's making, and it's going to get him hurt.

He waves off the suggestion that he's creeped out, tapping out a cigarette so he's got something to do with his hands, aand something to focus his gaze on other than Vash's fingers combing through his whatever-they-are. It might not be a sex thing, but that sure looks sexy to him.

Why the fuck couldn't it have just been a neglected injury?! ]

And I told you, it doesn't matter what I think about it.

[ It's not creepy, goddamn. He's not frightened that Vash has pussy fingers that are about to spawn a whole bunch of too-large eggs. He's confused, a little disgusted, more than a little curious, furious that Vash is being so casual with such a risky secret... but scared?

How the fuck could he be scared of a dork like this? ]

What else do I need to know? There's gonna be a bunch, so what do you do with 'em? After?

[ Are they going to hatch? Is there a flock of baby Vashes out there in the world somewhere? God, now he's thinking about it. He doesn't want to be thinking about it. ]

[ecad]

( oh, but he's really good at making mistakes, don't you know? though he can't really say he thinks of this as one, per se, because he does trust wolfwood. he trusts his kind eyes, and his passionate heart, and all the other little things he doesn't know about him, but wants to.

if he had to share this with anyone instead of bearing the weight of it alone, he would prefer it be him. even if he ends up voicing his opinion on the matter after the fact.

bare fingers slip over those topmost petals again, and a wave of something different thrums through him this time; his inner muscles tighten, but not in the uncomfortable way this had all started. more of a pleasant sort of buzz that asks for more, more of that, please, and he bites back a breathy exhale that he tries to keep behind his teeth, lest the other perceive it as something sexual. even though … okay, yeah, that felt a whole heck of a lot better than the discomfort from earlier, to be sure.

he continues to pet over his petals almost absently, those tiny little tendrils curling around the tips of his fingers and his next breath out is shaky. thin. just short of the quietest little moan as his thighs part infinitesimally. )

They aren't gonna be, ah … fertilized, so you could call 'em duds if you wanted. ( the admission of that makes his heart ache behind his ribs, even if it's only because emotions and plant hormones are running too high. ) I've only ever cleaned up the mess and … disposed of them.

( he doesn't want to say i just throw them away, even though that's precisely what he does. it feels like a terrible thing to say, even if there is no way in any hell that has ever existed that he could take care of a handful of. what? mini independents? he's never let himself think that far.

his touch shifts unconsciously a bit further downward, through the petals that frame his core, and he's rewarded with a new, embarrassingly noticeable drip of slick. he winces, but only because he's got one more thing to come clean about. the one thing he really doesn't want to. the blush at the tips of his ears and the high points of his cheeks deepens. )

There's one more thing … and it makes it easier, but you're gonna think I was lying before if I tell you. ( vash. you are really not helping your let's keep wolfwood from getting angrier case. dummy. )

[louboutinjudas]

[ They aren't fertilized, and they're going to throw them away. Wolfwood nods, somewhat relieved to hear it. Vash isn't having kids right now, and that's for the best. If they were live in there, he's not sure what he would have done, but chances are it would have been another scar on his soul. ...Not that Vash would have let him do anything truly awful, but they would have had to have been left somewhere, and Vash's feet put back on the road. He can't imagine how that would fuck up somebody as soft-hearted as the Stampede here.

So it's in a haze of relief that he shrugs off Vash's next comment, ignoring it as studiously as he's ignoring those little gasps and groans. ]

Spikey, I stopped thinking about any of this minutes ago.

[ His gaze is fixed on a point in the wall well past the top of Vash's head, but even like this he can see too much. It's easier to just keep his back to the man, so he doesn't give in to the temptation to look. ]

Just tell me what you need so we can get this over with.

[ecad]

( yeah … yeah. as much as his stupid bleeding heart understands that there is nothing to be done for unfertilized eggs, it still hurts him to just. leave them behind. maybe it's because they were a part of him, because his body produced them and, again, emotions and hormones are running high, but he always feels horrible for a few days after everything is over and done with.

not that he isn't planning to keep that sort of thing as hidden as he possibly can from wolfwood once he's through this. he doesn't need this, much less vash's stupid heart on top of everything else. he'll try to keep a lid on it, okay? you might just need to … bear with him for a little bit. he'll get through it, he promises.

he swallows hard, throat working in a dry click that he feels is audible in the relative silence; he doesn't need to say what he's prepared to, because he can try to get through it without that extra help! it just means that it might take longer, or it might be more uncomfortable, he's not entirely sure he remembers. once he'd figured out this little secret he hadn't thought twice about not implementing it, because it meant the whole thing would be over sooner and he could get back to. whatever he's supposed to get back to.

there's a stretch of quiet, and he unconsciously rubs his bare feet together in the interim, not unlike a cricket or grasshopper that he used to read so much about back on the ship. he's not sure he remembers which is which these days. ) I don't need it— I'm not asking for help! But it's always just … so much easier to get them out when I … if I … ( just say it, vash. )

If I come.

( god. god. he is never going to live this down, is he? that grand worm can come along any time, now … seriously. )

[louboutinjudas]

[ Did it just get very cold in here? Wolfwood turns with the slowness of a stalking predator, and if the expression on his face is any indication of his mental state, he's planning on tearing Vash's throat out with his teeth.

(This is accurate. He's thinking about it.) ]

If you what.

[ Tentacle-y plant junk he can handle. Eggs he can handle -- he's wigged out and nothing's even happened yet on that front, but he's handling it! But if Blondie here thinks that he's going to sit back and watch while he gets himself off!? Then he's got another think coming.

...Fuck, he doesn't want to think about coming! ]

[ecad]

I—

( crap. crapcrapcrap he knew he shouldn't have said anything! he should have kept it to himself, his horrible, filthy little secret, and just taken everything that hasn't even hit him fully in stride like he had before he'd figured it out.

the hand gently touching his petals flinches away as though burned, and they're left curling in on themselves as he brings his knees back up to his chest again. he buries his face against them, an adamant attempt at hiding the heat that flares high on his cheeks. the shame of this whole horrible thing. )

Forget I said it— forget I said anything. ( please comes out under his breath, but it's anyone's guess whether or not wolfwood actually hears it. wetness prickles at the corners of his eyes, and dang it, he isn't going to cry. he isn't! )

I can. Handle this on my own. You don't have to stay. ( a miserable sound bubbles up in his chest and tries to make its way up his throat, but he swallows it back down. ) You've done enough. More than enough.

( he's sorry. he's so sorry. ) Thank you, Wolfwood.

[louboutinjudas]

[ No he shouldn't have said anything! He shouldn't even have thought it! And if he thinks that crying is going to change anything, if it's going to make Wolfwood more sympathetic, or make him agree to leave, then Vash hasn't been paying attention. There's nobody on the planet more stubborn than the man standing at the side of Vash's bed, arms folded and teeth bared. ]

I'm not goin' anywhere.

[ Did that sound like a threat? Because it was meant as one. ]

As your court-appointed babysitter, I'm not takin' my eyes off you until the light show's over and all this... [ He gestures, vaguely, at Vash's crotch. ] ...is done.

[ Like he's just going to sit outside the door and listen in! Like he'd leave and, what, go down to the bar, toss back a couple of drinks and try not to think about what's happening upstairs? No goddamn way. ]

So if you don't need to... to do that, then this time you're doin' it without that!

[ecad]

( he knows he made a mistake, okay? always opening his mouth when he shouldn't, being honest when he should just deflect or try to lie, which he happens to be kind of decent at when it really counts, and it really counts right now. he should have just kept everything to himself and dealt with it all as he was meant to.

by himself.

wolfwood's words absolutely do sound like a threat, and he still doesn't look at him as he keeps talking, as he keeps. saying that he's going to stay and some part of vash wishes he wouldn't. it comes all the way back around again to this being above his paygrade, that he never asked for this and doesn't deserve to have to deal with it, especially now that he's admitted something so intimate. is he going to think about this once it's finished? is he going to be able to forget it?

he should, but some things are easier than others.

and he doesn't think crying is going to do him any favors, as an aside. sometimes he just can't help it, and it's when he can't that the tears burn, but there's a fair amount of shame involved here, in that admittance alone, and he's going to blame it all on that and move right along.

he sniffles, abbreviated, trying to hide the sound against the barrier of his knees, and a renewed thrum of discomfort settles within the vicinity of his hips. it really is going to start soon. )

Yeah. ( he manages to get out, and the sound of his voice is … more than muffled, more than strained. ) Yeah, all right. ( a pause, and he chews on the inside of his lower lip. ) It's going to start soon. Just … giving you some warning.

[louboutinjudas]

[ What would he have done, if Vash had said no? If Vash had told him that this had nothing to do with him, that he wasn't wanted here, that if he was going to be so bossy that he wasn't welcome to stay? Would he have left? He's a lot of things, but is he the kind of guy who would force a naked guy to... to do pussy stuff in a way he didn't want to?

Well, that's what's happening now, isn't it? He's used to Blondie crying -- it happens often enough -- but he's discovering that he really doesn't like it when the tears are his fault. Hates it, even. Who is he to tell somebody what they're allowed to do with their body, anyway? As much as he doesn't want to stand here while Vash jerks off, he could always just leave! He could stand guard outside, or in the next room over, he doesn't have to be here. Their luck is bad, sure, but nobody's going to attack while Vash is... is laying, and even if they did, he could hear the attack and respond just as well from out in the hall as from next to the bed.

So why isn't he leaving? ]

Fine. Hurry it up.

[ Why is he being such a asshole? Even for him this is excessive! And that sweet scent isn't making things any easier -- if anything, it's just confusing him more, making his mouth water and his head spin. He can't help thinking, too, of the size of the thing Vash indicated was coming -- as wide as his palm, some of them, he'd said. That's bigger than anything Wolfwood would want to pass. Surely Spikey's body is designed for it, though? Surely this will go easily, and then it'll be over and they can pretend it never happened. ]

[ecad]

( the awful thing about this whole mess is that vash doesn't want to be alone for it; he has been every other time, yes, he's used to it and he's prepared for it but even if wolfwood has his own misgivings about what's happening, having him there is … soothing, in a way? even with all of his harsh words and threats and whatever else he might feel the need to employ along the way, he's glad he decided to stay.

no matter how awkward it is. no matter how awkward it's going to be once everything is underway. wolfwood might look at him differently once it's all over and done with, but he's used to that, too, isn't he?

no one ever looks at him like he's normal. no matter how hard he tries to keep all of his eccentricities in check, no matter how much he tries to be like everyone else. he's different, and it shows in the smallest ways.

and the tears aren't your fault, nicholas. just so you know. they just so happen to operate under their own terms and decide when they come and when they don't. so. don't you go feeling any guilt about that, yeah?

he's just a big baby, and that's all there is to it.

vash swallows hard against another thrumming wave of discomfort, laying his legs flat again and letting his thighs fall slightly farther apart; both in some attempt at easing the building ache in his hips and preparing for the first egg to make its appearance, but a flush still flares high on his cheeks and he continues to look anywhere but at wolfwood.

there's a cluster of freckles on the inside of his right thigh, innocent amidst the surrounding patchwork of scars, and he decides to focus on that. that sweet scent that's proving so difficult for the other to parse out gets just a little bit thicker as a new trickle of slick betrays the inevitable.

and even still, he huffs out an almost incredulous sounding laugh. ) I can't just. Make it happen, you know. But it won't be long now.

( the space between his thighs is throbbing, but he keeps his hands where they are. on either sided of him, fingers digging into the makeshift nest of linens, and he bites back a small noise. something that could almost be called wanting, even if he isn't sure what he wants in this moment other than for it to be over. ) —Ah.

( oh. this first one is going to hurt. ) … Nngh. ( wolfwood doesn't need to know that it feels bigger than the others have been. he doesn't need to know how badly vash is convinced it's going to hurt.

but maybe that means the rest of them will be smaller, and come more easily? he can hope, right? )

[louboutinjudas]

[ He doesn't expect that it's going to be a fun process, not with all the buildup so far about how weird it is, and how much he needs to do... that, to make it better. That first groan sets Wolfwood's teeth on edge because yeah that sounded like wanting. That sounded needy, and strained, and like something he's going to think about the next time he takes himself in hand, whether he wants to or not.

He keeps his back to Vash, giving him the pretense of privacy, but without being able to see the expression on Vash's face all he hears is heavy breathing and little whimpers and moans and shit it just sounds like Blondie's getting dicked down good. He's thinking about sex and so that's what he's hearing, that's what he's picturing -- the air's heavy with the scent of Vash's slick pussy and if this goes on must longer his body's going to have a reaction that he's got no control over, and won't that be a fun conversation. Wolfwood knots his hands into fists as his side, fighting the urge to just stick his fingers in his ears -- no wonder Vash wanted to jerk off, if it's already feeling this good! What the fuck?!

Anger helps. Anger keeps the arousal at bay, but for how long? How long can he hold out? ]

[ecad]

( he doesn't mean to sound like that, he doesn't, and knowing that it's going to stay with wolfwood once things are over here … well. not that he's going to know, but if he did, it would make him blush right down to his toes and he might, honestly, never recover from it. he doesn't mean to sound needy, he doesn't mean to sound wanting —

the pressure in his hips doubles down on him and he almost winces because of it, gritting his teeth against another betraying sound as he feels something shift inside him. oh, yeah, it's going to come soon, and it's going to be big, and it's going to. to.

wolfwood's back is to him so he doesn't feel as shameful as he might otherwise, spreading his thighs even more as he does, breaths now coming in quick, short little pants as he bites the inside of his bottom lip again. harder, because he can be quiet, he can do this, he can.

something in him says push, and he does; he bears down as best he can, strained little noises worming their way up his throat and out of his mouth even through gritted teeth, and he squeezes his eyes tightly shut against the renewed wetness threatening the corners. it isn't bad, it isn't horrible, it doesn't hurt as much as he'd thought it would but it's still the sort of pressure that borders on more than just uncomfortable. one, two, three, and —

he gives another quiet, breathless ah! as the largest part of the first egg clears his entrance, the rest of it slipping free with minimal effort, his inner walls almost rippling to help it along and then all at once it's out. done. he finally forces his eyes open — when had he even closed them? — and chances a look between his thighs, and. oh.

it's just a little bit wider than the base of his palm at its largest, smooth, almost luminescent with the way it seems to glow faintly. it is bigger than he'd thought, but he's still hoping that means the rest of them will be smaller. or that there won't be as many.

he breathes out, an almost incredulous huff, gently tracing fingertips over the delicate shell. ) That's … one.

[louboutinjudas]

[ At some point -- he couldn't say for sure when, exactly -- the sounds Blondie's making stop sounding pleased, and start sounding strained. Upset. Pained.

By the time Vash opens his eyes, Wolfwood's turned around, and he's standing at the side of the bed -- with a clear view straight between Vash's thighs -- looking between Vash's face and that way too large egg with worry and a slowly settling resolution.

He's in way over his head here. ]

That thing's huge.

[ His voice is almost as soft as Vash's, dry and unsure. He's still trying not to look right at Vash's whatever-he-calls-it, but from here there was no way to miss just how stretched Vash had to be to pass that thing. That's no hotdog in a hallway -- that was a tight fit. And he might not know much, but he knows that trying to fit something big through a hole that isn't slick and relaxed is a recipe for a bad time.

He really should have just kept his mouth shut, huh? ]

Does it really help? What you were gonna do?

[ecad]

( at the very least, he tries to keep as much of the strain out of his voice as he can, but sometimes — especially when it comes to the largest part of the first egg — he just can't help it, and it only adds to the embarrassment of the whole thing. is wolfwood going to think him weak, after this? that he can't handle a little bit of discomfort that will, ultimately, subside?

( in vash's defense, it isn't exactly like this is normal for someone human-shaped, and he hadn't known what he was even supposed to do the first time it happened.

that's something he would really, really like to forget, if he's perfectly honest. )

he almost doesn't register that wolfwood has spoken when the words leave his mouth, a tinny sort of ringing in his ears making focusing a bit more than difficult for a handful of seconds before his eyes come fully into focus. there's a breathless sort of laugh, no humor in it at all as he shakes his head in an attempt to get the hair out of his face. when had he started sweating? )

It's not that bad. ( he says softly, as he would anything that seems as bad. like getting shot at point-blank range. you know how he is.

he's quiet when that question comes, though, cheeks seeming to burn an even deeper shade of pink and his markings flare for a half-second or so before he gets himself back under control. remember that, if it just so happens again in the future. it definitely means he's flustered. )

… Yeah. ( darn near inaudible, because it's just as embarrassing to admit it for a second time. ) Something about the muscle contractions, uh, moving things along? If I had to guess. ( he hasn't exactly thought too deeply about it, okay? he just. knows it helps. ) I dunno. I try not to think about it.

[louboutinjudas]

[ It’s okay, he doesn’t have to go into specifics! Wolfwood really doesn’t want to hear the details. His attraction to Blondie here is complicated enough without any more details… although he’s about to get more, isn’t he? Because Vash is about to…

He’s gonna…

With Wolfwood right here, he’s gonna…

Dear Lord in Heaven, please send a sandworm, the biggest You’ve got, with an appetite to boot. ]

Okay.

[ It’s so much easier to turn his focus to the closed and shuttered window, and the door with the big gun resting against it, pretending to himself and Vash both that his concern here is intruders, and privacy. He stares hard at Punisher, and if he weren’t such an asshole he’d march right over there, lift the gun out of the way, and put it and himself out in the hall. There’s no reason to be in here. ]

Then you do what you have to do.

[ Just because he thinks that Vash shouldn’t be alone, just because he finds this shit frightening, just because he’s never had anyone stay with him when his body did painful, unwanted things, that doesn’t mean Vash wants him here! He just marched in, full of demands and threats – who the fuck would find that comforting? He’s just fucking everything up, isn’t he. ]

D’you want me to go?

[ecad]

( here's the thing about everything you are, nicholas . wolfwood; your threats, your demands, your coarseness that is so uniquely you is comforting. for reasons beyond his comprehension, maybe other than the fact it's the closest he's felt to someone in a really, really long time, and does he have a right to feel that way? absolutely not.

does he feel that way, anyway?

yeah.

so maybe you think you shouldn't be here, or that he doesn't want you here, but he does. even if he doesn't have a right to want you here, because this isn't your rodeo and you don't have a dog in this fight, but you standing silent sentinel somewhere within the vicinity is decidedly better than going through it alone.

even if! no! he isn't going to go into any kind of specifics, especially when do what you have to do comes out of his mouth and vash starts so violently that he almost ends up knocking himself over on the bed. like a complete loser.

what!?

he can't say anything for a handful of moments, mouth working to form words and failing entirely, an effective fish out of water and is he really implying what he thinks he's implying? that he — he — )

I really can get through it without it! ( he ends up stammering out, tripping over his words like the last missed step on a staircase fumbling for some measure of calm down that he can't quite get a grasp on. his markings flicker again, bright and then dim and bright again as he flusters himself so badly that it just makes the embarrassment worse. he reaches for the egg between his thighs, holds it for the span of a breath or two and remembering that they stay warm for a good while after, and for some reason that warmth is comforting when it doesn't have any right to be at all.

he sets it gently to the side, in a part of the makeshift blanket nest that hasn't been completely disturbed. ) … No, I don't want you to go. ( he inhales deeply through his nose and exhales the same way, trying to find some sort of grip on whatever reality this has turned into. ) But I won't ask you to stay if you don't want to.

[louboutinjudas]

[ He really doesn't know how to feel about the egg. He really doesn't. It's not a baby -- Vash wouldn't have talked so casually about disposing of them if there was any chance it was alive -- but it was born like a baby, and even though he understands as only a farm kid can how eggs can be both alive and not at once, it's still... well, it's a complexity, isn't it? He likes simple. This isn't at all simple.

Vash doesn't want him to go, he says, following by some blathering about Wolfwood's wants, but he established from the get-go that his wants didn't factor into the evening's activities one bit. What he wants has almost never factored into what he was going to do, and this isn't the time to start caring about little things like his preferences and comfort level. Vash is going to sit here and squeeze out who knows how many more eggs, and Wolfwood's got permission to stay. That's most of what matters.

The rest is what that staying looks like. ]

Don't be stupid!

[ He doesn't bother to acknowledge that he's been granted to right to remain, because nothing more needs to be said there -- he's here, he's staying, end of discussion. ]

If that makes it easier, then you're doin' it, and that's all there it to it!

[ He's not thinking too much about what 'it' entails, for both their sakes. Vash is going to make things easier on himself, he's going to get things moving, he's gonna clear a path, maybe. The mechanics will sort themselves out later. ]

[ecad]

( they're not — they're not babies, at least not in the real sense, but they could be, if they were fertilized. again, like he said! they're easy enough to dispose of when he needs to, even if it's never going to be that easy, because sometimes. he can't stop himself from thinking about it.

when he doesn't have a right to, because there's no way in any universe ever that he could have any kind of offspring. ( despite, uh. what his brother might think in the future, what he's probably thinking now, because he needs therapy and maybe a hug, but that is absolutely not the point.

they're not babies. they're empty, lifeless things that he has to pass every so often, even if they're warm for so long after he does. it's fine. it's not that complicated.

wolfwood does have permission to stay, the sort of permission he's never had to think about giving anyone else and there's a vulnerability in that that he feels deep in his bones, whether he wants to or not; he wants him to stay, even when he's practically growling at him to not be stupid. to take advantage of this permission to do what needs to be done, to make this easier, to make it go more quickly, and vash. needs a moment to process all of that before he can come up with a response.

he chews on the inside of his bottom lip until he tastes blood, a stupid, nervous habit he's not entirely sure when he'd acquired, but it's been years and it isn't something he's going to let go of, if only because of the comfort he gets from it. freak that he is.

you're doin' it, he says. like it's just that easy, like it would have been that easy when he'd first mentioned it. but even still, his thighs part a little bit more, his flesh hand slipping back down to sift through his petals again; those tiny tendrils have been reaching, and when those fingers make contact they curl, another wave of slick seeking to coat the insides of his thighs as though to say yes, please, finally. )

Wolfwood.

( he murmurs, quiet and somehow intimate, still not looking to meet the other's gaze. even if there's no real chance that wolfwood is actually looking in his general direction. ) Are you—

Are you sure?

[louboutinjudas]

[ No, he’s not looking at Vash. He’s looking just past Vash, where the reality of everything that’s happening on the bed is visible, but only in his periphery, a blur of shapes and colors without anything concrete to remember later. And he turns away a hair further when Vash keeps dithering, snarling at the far corner of the room like it’s offended him personally. ]

How many times do I have to say yes? Yes!

[ Really, he’s a little in awe of what Vash is suggesting. Wolfwood’s got no body shame – as a child it didn’t occur to him to be ashamed of his body, and once with the Eye he wasn’t given the option of modesty – but jerking off in front of somebody is different than just being bare, isn’t it? Even if he wasn’t here, he still can’t quite wrap his head around Vash’s solution. The last thing he’s thinking about, when he’s in pain, is fucking. It seems like getting off under these conditions would be hard as hell, but he can only assume Vash knows what he’s doing.

As much as Vash ever knows what he’s doing. ]

You don’t fuckin’ eat, half the time you don’t wake anyone else for their turn at watch, you pretend not to be hurt when you’re bleedin’ all over the damn place.

[ Sin after sin, he counts them off on his fingers, a litany of self-sacrifice that just makes him madder and madder with every word. ]

And so for once, you’re gonna do the smart thing and make things a little easier for yourself, even if I have t’come over there and…!
[ His teeth snap together audibly as he realizes where his ranting’s landed him. He didn’t… that’s not what he meant to say. That’s not why he’s here. Some of the tension drops from his shoulders as he forces himself to calm down, but you’d better believe he’s keeping his back fully turned to Vash for the foreseeable future. ]

You know what I mean.

[ That last is much quieter, almost apologetic. ]

Just… just get on with it.

[ecad]

Sorry—!

( it comes out of him without him even thinking about it, because it feels like he's spent his entire life apologizing for things that aren't entirely his fault; it's just how he works, how he operates, and there really is no denying how much his body wants what it's been denied up to this point. he doesn't touch himself outside of this, more because he just doesn't think about it than anything else, because wolfwood is right and he never thinks about is own needs. his own wants, even, because those are even less important than needs, and pleasure is something that comes to something tertiary, at the very best. secondary? please.

he's only just barely registered the last of wolfwood's words as his mouth snaps shut, and he doesn't let himself think about it; his body knows only the touch of his own hands, his own fingers sifting through the softness of his petals and the tendrils that still reach for more. what — what would it be like, to feel another's touch? unfamiliar, calloused fingertips over his most sensitive, inhuman parts, learning the lines of him and committing them to memory?

what would it feel like —

( to feel wanted? )

no, no, he can't think like that, because it isn't his place and it isn't fair, even if he isn't asking for anything. vash swallows hard, thick, useless as index and middle finger slip down to frame his clit, and just the barest hint of pressure is enough to bring another sound to the surface. soft, quiet, more pleasure than discomfort as the tension in his hips begins to build again, and he knows another egg is coming soon.

wolfwood is turned away from him, he'll miss the way golden lashes flutter as he gently presses his hips upward into that almost-too-light pressure, sighing around an undeniably pleased sound as the tip of his middle finger gently pulls the hood back, exposing the swollen nub in a way that finds him almost hissing. )

O-Okay. ( he exhales breathlessly, fingers slipping down just a bit farther and teasing at his entrance, still unreasonably tight despite the first egg's passing. okay. he's going to do this, isn't he? he's going to do this.

and he should feel worse about it. he should. he should feel guilty, and shameful, and embarrassed and maybe all of those things are still circling beneath the surface, waiting to bear down on him when his brain isn't a fuzzy mess of radio static and the hum of please, more.

he swallows again around another muffled whine, lips parting once more with shallow pants as his attention returns to his swollen clit and the resulting wave of pleasure finds him moaning openly. )

[louboutinjudas]

[ He doesn't snap back at that sorry only because he's busy pretending that he can't hear a thing that's coming from the bed anymore. Back to the bed, arms tightly folded -- so tightly that the material of his suit jacket is creasing in long curves across his back. He's starting to outgrow his clothes, his arms and shoulders filling out more and more seemingly every day -- Wolfwood is pretending hard that he's got no idea what's happening behind him.

But his hearing is excellent, and he's been trained to assess a room without the need for sight. He can all but see Vash sitting on the bed, can tell from every hitch of his breath or quiet hiss exactly what's happening. He can hear the slide of fingertips over soft flesh, and can hear exactly when that flesh stops being just soft and becomes soft and slick. The mattress creaks ever so faintly, and Wolfwood knows -- knows, as though he was staring openly! -- that Vash's fingers are circling his... his...

He really didn't want to learn about Vash this way. He didn't expect anything to ever come of his traitor body's interest in the blond idiot -- sure, Vash has a pretty face and a good body, but he's here on a job. Other than a stolen glance or two, and maybe a daydream while stuck bouncing around in the back of the damn truck, he was never going to have anything more, and that was fine. More than fine! Even if a guy like him deserved to have something as normal as a relationship, it sure as hell wasn't going to happen with the asshole he was escorting off to his imprisonment (and, although he tries not to think about it, most likely death).

But he knows what Vash's little gasps sound like now. He knows how he touches himself now, knows he'll be smelling this perfume in his dreams for years to come. Vash moans, and Wolfwood grits his teeth until he can hear them creak, willing his bastard body to stop listening so hard. His suit slacks don't hide anything. As soon as he turns around again, Vash is going to see the effect he's having on Wolfwood. He's going to know.

He shouldn't have stayed. He shouldn't have. ]

[ecad]

( it should be more difficult, shouldn't it, to do something like this with wolfwood so close? with wolfwood listening, because it isn't like he has much of a choice otherwise? any little sound he makes, every hitch of breath, he hears it all and there's no telling what else gets picked up on his radar, the sound of fingers on slick skin, the subtle shift of thighs spreading infinitesimally wider. prosthetic fingers twist into threadbare fabric, and maybe he would normally tease himself a bit more, work himself up a bit more, but he isn't here for the sake of his own enjoyment.

not … exactly, anyway. yes, this is going to make things easier, make them go more smoothly and hopefully more quickly, and that doesn't mean he has any right to take the luxury of taking his time.

he reclines, just a little as his thighs spread open, flesh-and-bone hand sweeping the tips of index and middle finger over his swollen clit in a way that has him gritting his teeth not unlike wolfwood is across the room; they creak as his throat works in a thick swallow, as his inner muscles clench down around nothing and another wave of tension makes itself at home at the apex of his hips. another egg will be coming very, very soon, and somehow it already feels like it's going much more easily than the first one had.

( maybe it is going to be smaller, like he'd originally thought. or maybe this sort of thing helps more than he'd originally realized. it doesn't matter much either way, just as long as he can find himself finished here and they can get back to … some semblance of normalcy? aha? )

it isn't fair, the way his mind recalls the first time he'd seen the other make use of that giant cross he bears. long fingers working effortlessly, and are they rougher than his own? more calloused? it isn't fair the way he can't help but think of how they might feel in place of his own, and that alone makes him whine with want, high and thin in the very back of his throat.

stop, you idiot. you'll never be able to look at him the same way again. it's bad enough that he'll never look at you the same again, isn't it?

don't make it worse.

and even still, he swirls the pads of his fingers over his clit and slips them back down to tease again at his entrance, press them inside up to the first knuckle, and it's. it's so good that he can't help but to bite back another sound of pure want, need, because those slender fingers of his aren't anywhere near enough.

needy thing you are, vash the stampede. )

[louboutinjudas]

[ He's so loud. Wolfwood shifts his stance out a hair, glowering at the room's door like he expects the whole of the Julai militia to come storming in, and tries to think about anything other than what's happening behind him. But while he can ignore the little wet sounds, the quiet hiss of skin against skin -- or he's pretending he can, anyway -- there's no ignoring all those moans and gasps and whines.

He didn't expect dead silence, but he was honestly anticipating more heavy breathing and less of those high, needy whines. When he touches himself, those rare evenings or early mornings when the mood takes him -- and they are rare -- he's silent as the grave. Whether it's a legacy of his training enforcing a level of stoic endurance on his every behavior, or a personal preference, he doesn't know and frankly doesn't care -- he's quiet, and for some reason he assumed Stampede here would be quiet too.

Guess he was wrong about that. Add another tally to the Wolfwood doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about score, huh? Because Vash is anything but quiet.

And since there's no possible way that he's being loud on purpose, not with Wolfwood standing right here fuming so hard he's about to burst into flames, then that means that Blondie can't control his volume like this. It means that what he's doing feels so good that he can't help but make noise about it. He'd be a whole orchestra with somebody else in the bed with him, wouldn't he? With somebody else's hands on him, touching him deeper than he can reach himself, pressing harder than the light touches he chooses for himself, working him up into a writhing mess... bet he'd sound like a siren. Bet they'd get a knock on the wall telling them to keep it down.

If he can pass an egg that big, would he even notice a couple fingers? He might need more than that, to really feel it. Could he take a whole hand? Would he want to? Wolfwood's hands are big and broad, but that egg was huge -- it'd be less of a stretch to work his fingers inside that slick space, one by one until his got his whole hand in there. What would it feel like, to touch someone from inside like that?

Fuck, now he's thinking about it. He's so hard that he can feel his cock pulling against his shorts with every breath, and if he doesn't do something soon there's going to be a wet spot on his only pair of pants. If he turns around and tells Vash to hurry up it'll only make the idiot flustered and slow everything down, and he knows this, but come on, Spikey, hurry the fuck up! ]

[ecad]

( trust him to be incapable of keeping his mouth shut even like this; it's funny, or maybe it isn't that when he's by himself, when he's completely alone in this he doesn't make much noise, or at the very least, he doesn't think he does. but he also doesn't let his thoughts wander, doesn't have any thoughts at all that aren't within the realm of getting this over as quickly and efficiently as possible, but … here, now, maybe he's letting his thoughts veer into territory he doesn't have any right at all to even approach, much less breach the barrier of, because he's —

he's thinking about those pretty hands, those long fingers and how they might reach more deeply inside him than he's ever been able to himself. he's thinking about being full, even if he never quite has been to the point of complete satisfaction before, he's thinking about taking more than he ever has and begging for more, because it still isn't enough, it never is, and. oh, it would be so nice to get some measure of satisfaction from this, even if it's just a means to an end to find it all finished.

( is it just because wolfwood is in the room with him? is it just because he can hear him, and vash is so acutely aware of it? it isn't a show by any means, and heaven knows he can't quite help all of those helpless, shameless little sounds that are all but pouring out of him, but he might have to wonder later. if he can bring himself to think about it at all. )

two fingers first-knuckle-deep is nowhere near enough, at least if the tension spreading through his hips is any indication; he's given himself as many as four before, because at such an awkward angle it's difficult to make even that work, but … a whole hand … a whole hand that might just be bigger than his own? he could take that, and he would cry from how good it feels to be so much fuller than he has been before, fat tears at the corners of his eyes spilling over and wetting his lashes as he begs, please, please, more, please and he would say he's never asked for much of anything in his life.

but god, he might just pray for more of that.

those two fingers press deeper, another ripple of pleasure thrumming its way through him as between one breath and the next he adds a third, hips canting upward in search of more of that delicious pressure, thumb pressing hard against his clit and gasping with the wave of heat that comes from it. he's close already, and that's something else new, because he's never been very good at getting himself worked up. knowing that it's just to help, to make everything go more smoothly, more quickly, but there is no denying that this is different in a whole slew of ways.

which. goes without saying, of course. but. that's neither here nor there.

three fingers pressed as deeply as he can manage, and his body trembles with the ache for release, for more than that, and the fact that it remains just beyond his reach is maddening. )

… Please. ( he whines, not even realizing he's spoken aloud, brows furrowing as he twists those fingers, thrusts down onto them like the shameless, needy thing he is in that moment. ) Just— please, please—

( sorry, wolfwood.

he really can't be quiet to save his damned life. )

[louboutinjudas]

[ It’s a good thing his life’s not on the line because goddamn Blondie! Twenty minutes ago he would have sworn up and down – and possibly shot whoever was asking – that Vash was as meek in the bedroom as he is everywhere else. Oh sure, there’s steel in there when somebody’s threatening harm to somebody else, but nine times out of ten when he opens his mouth, it’s to giggle, or whine, or say something patently idiotic about being nice.

If he hadn’t seen that first egg, he’d never believe for a second that this was anything other than selfish pleasure. By God the sounds coming out of that man! Wolfwood’s heart is pounding so loudly it’s making it hard to hear the more subtle sounds, the wet slick stretch that he’s pretty sure was Vash working another finger into himself, but those breathy gasps more than make up for it.

His knuckles all crack, in sequence, when Vash cries out begging for more and he clenches both fists to stop himself from spinning right around and helping. Vash doesn’t need his fucking help, he chides himself, blunt nails leaving indents in his calloused palms. He’s not actually asking for anything – he’s just close. People say all kinds of things, when they’re close.

At least, that’s what he’s heard. His own experience Is limited, and the folks he’s been with have either screamed all kinds of things they thought he wanted to hear, or their union had been a furtive, silent thing, with both parties holding onto a firearm just in case.

With Vash, though… with Vash there’d probably be kissing, wouldn’t there? He seems the type – and fuck it, if he’s thinking about it then he’s damn well thinking about it! With Vash there’d be kissing, and gentle touches. Or would he want gentleness? When he’s fumbling and babbling and falling over himself he sure seems like a gentle kind of guy, but here he is, whining and groaning while three – three? – fingers deep into himself, in front of an audience! Maybe he doesn’t want it gentle. Maybe he’d like to be held down, and made to come.

Shit, he’s absolutely going to come in his pants if this lasts one minute longer. ]

C’mon.

[ How the hell does he sound more wrecked than Spikey here, when all he’s been doing in standing guard? His voice is a rasp, tight as his shoulders and the line of his back, and it’s taking everything in him to stand right where he’s at. He can handle torture, and he can sure as hell handle temptation. This?

This is something new. ]

Harder.

[ This is something entirely new, and he’s so adrift. ]